The Pele Conversations
So the phone's ringing and we can guess who it is. "Pele, how's it goin?" says I. "Good, Joe, good," says the greatest ever. "We need to talk about these first round match ups and I wanted to get your perspective on things," he continues. "Right Oh!" says I, wondering exactly where he's going to get things wrong and need my advice.
At the outset, I figure we better get Brazil through round one diplomatically and hastily. "Naturally, we agree on Group A Winners but the second spot is up for grabs," says I with confidence bordering on the arrogant. "The big game will be Scotland v Norway. A tie will make the other matches more interesting but the draw (fixtures) suits the Scots. They are going to round two for the first time in their history. Morocco will entertain and then join Norway on the early flights out of France." "Are you still there Pele?" thinking I've done too much talking already. An indeterminable silence greets me until at last I hear the dulcet tones of the great man's great voice.
"Very interesting," says the living legend as I breathe a sigh of relief that he hasn't hung up. "You are very brave to give Morocco no chance and I also disagree with your assessment of Norway." Now when a politician uses the word "brave" or "courageous" he is simply being politically polite and he means the exact opposite. I make a mental note that I may have screwed up Group A. So cleverly enough, I turn the tables on him and say, "All right, how about that Group B then?"
"No problem," replies the deadly finisher. "Italy and Chile have enough strength to edge out Austria and Cameroon, don't you agree, Joe?" Oddly enough, I was in full agreement with the man but I couldn't just say yes. So to cut a long story short, I waxed lyrically about Austria's strength and pontificated admirably about Cameroon's style before agreeing 100 percent with the analysis.
"I'll bet you're having trouble with Group C," I shrewdly interjected after a polite update on the weather interrupted our soccer predictions. "Not at all," cool as ever comes back. "France and Denmark will handle the conditions better than South Africa and Saudi Arabia." Feeling pretty quick on the ball myself, I says "It's a case of one word being better than two, then," hoping he gets the joke. "Very droll, Joe," says the masterful one, his mastery of English coming second only to his mastery of soccer skills. Logic allows me to agree with him but I choose not to this time. "Actually," I coughs "I think the time is right for a little history here and South Africa will advance at the expense of Denmark, although there may not be more than a goal in it at the end."
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