Hard to Say Goodbye

The simplest answer is health reasons. Although I've made no secret that I have a serious illness, I don't expect most of you to be aware of the severity of it. To be frank, I am terminally ill. I was ill when I started the column two years ago, but my day to day strength was good enough that I could handle the job. For the past few months that has slowly changed. I have stalled for almost two months coming to this choice, trying every week to still manage this column, but it became increasingly difficult. I considered just readjusting my schedule, making the column bimonthly or even monthly. I thought it was the best of the both worlds. After all, I asked for this column, I wanted to have my own site, a place where I could share my feelings on daytime, voice my opinions. The idea of silencing myself terrified me. I thought that if I cut down the frequency of the columns, I would still be able to rant and rave or praise and rejoice over daytime when the mood struck me. So two weeks ago I decided I would change the column to monthly, which would give me the opportunity to give more time to my health. I had this column I wanted to do all about how morality on soaps changed over time and I was actually struggling to either drastically edit it or split into two (or three) columns. Then everything changed and my health took a drastic downward turn. My deterioration has gone at such a steady and slow pace that I thought I had more time, but I learned hours after I made my decision to make the column monthly that was no longer true. Even though the amount of time I have has not shortened, the ability to manage my health alone has. Basically, I will be a slave to doctors, nurses, hospitals, and surgeons from now on. Now after this week, I'm not sure I would able to do a column any time this entire summer let alone once a month! That isn't fair to the readers of this column that have followed it long before I ever wrote for it. This site isn't about me, it never has been. Right now I occupy the site and share my thoughts, but it is for soap fans. It is a place where

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