The Allure of the Ex
Again, it seemed he didn’t get the happily-ensconced-in-a-relationship vibe from my articles. And here I thought I rambled on about the BF too much. He was actually quite surprised that I had one – my articles seemed to paint me as this single-about-the-town girl who had “had a lot of bad experiences”.
(Aside…I apologize to you if that’s the image I’ve portrayed. Haven’t we all had bad experiences? I just talk about mine more, I suppose.)
As I went on about my wonderful (most times) BF, he asked to meet me for a drink.
Do you ever ask yourself the questions I do? The if-only-I-hadn’t-taken-that-job, if-only-I’d-have-stayed-in-college-and-not-married-the-first-of-two-totally-bad-choices-in-husbands? The if-only-I’d-have-colored-my-hair-red-sooner-I-might-have-been-happier questions? Hindsight is a frustrating thing since it would be more helpful before it became hindsight. I know that this could turn out to be one of those times I’d look back on later, wishing I’d kept my curiosity under wraps and just said no.
Meeting up again with an ex can be alluring, enticing, especially when you feel like your current partner isn’t giving you what you need and deserve. It can be a boost to one’s ego (he loved me once and now he wants me again, I must indeed be the fabulous creature I think I am). It can be very revealing, giving you some insight as to who you were at a point in time, if only to another person. It can be something that you need to do because you never really quite got over him. It’s not always a bad idea.
However, it can also damage your ego, set you back a good five years, make you more confused than you normally are (in my case, that’s quite a bit). And still, it can make you realize once and for all - as if you weren’t already certain - exactly why he is now an ex.
All this considered, I decided I’m not going for that drink. Not only do I not want to tempt fate, but I don’t want my BF doing the same thing, and I do really believe in the Golden Rule, especially when it comes to relationships. What would I gain? Not near as much as I’d lose.
And to address the issue of gaining insight as to who I was then...well, I have that already. I don't need to see him or any other ex to know. I wish you could have seen me when I was nineteen. A sweet,
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