How many times have you heard that one? Used car dealers, the office gossip, your prom date. Your boyfriend. Trust me.
A request (command?) that sometimes cannot be granted.
Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship. You don’t want to build your house on shifting sands…why construct a relationship there either?
The BF travels. A lot. More than I like (only because it seems like every other week or so, he’s out of town). Business on the east coast, visiting his son in the west. “Boys Weekend.” This guy has more frequent flyer miles than I do accessories. Yet I really don’t worry all that much when he is gone.
Then there are nights like tonight. Calling from Boston with a few drinks under his belt, he’s silly. Fun (the most fun) and flirtatious. And talking about autographed photos from the waitresses at the 50s restaurant he and some co-workers went to.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not jealous of some waitress in a restaurant on the other side of the nation. I’m jealous he never gets inebriated with me. But that’s a different story.
Still, how do you know if you can really trust someone you’re seeing?
Tell-tale signs to look for: he never calls you when he’s out of town, he’s unreachable by phone (either by turning off his mobile or neglecting to tell you exactly where it is that’s he is staying). He comes home with scratches or strange marks that just don’t seem likely to have been caused by routine activities.
Rather than looking for hints that he might be cheating (or thinking about it), why not ask yourself this: why is it that I’m really worried?
Is this a pattern in all your relationships, this frequent mistrust? Do you worry because he’s having one night out with his friends, or are you worried that it’s becoming a habit? Are you simply insecure? Is it him or is it you?
There was a time when I didn’t trust anyone I went out with. Away from them, I believed (imagined) the worst. They were really out with Gina from Accounting, didn’t they mention her at least twice this week? Or at some bar, ogling women, with their randy friends. I never asked any of them to be with me instead of on their own, I just fumed and jumped to conclusions and then pestered the poor guy to death. And after a while, I realized I didn’t trust because I myself wasn’t trustworthy.
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