Two months into the deal, I was ready to disown him. Our “learning curve” had outlived its shelf life. I complained to my friends incessantly. I’m almost certain there were conversations he had with me as the topic as well, even though my younger brother is not of the “wear your heart on your sleeve” variety that his older sis belonged to. I kept telling myself it was only a matter of time.
One year and one month later, to all those who witnessed, we hated each other. Truth be told, I love my younger brother dearly. I love my only other sibling (an older brother) as much, but Lil’ Bro holds a special place in my heart. I recall fights I fought (and won, girly girl that I am nonetheless) in his honor. He wasn’t always a foe. Somewhere along the way I forgot that.
Money never figures into any relationship well. When you are romantically involved, it is a matter of contention at the very least. I want to buy a cool new rug I saw at Pottery Barn; he wants to pay off the VISA bill. And so it goes. What happens when the person you live with isn’t the person you are sleeping with? What kind of negotiating power do you have?
In addressing the concerns of Single Urban Women, I’ve never touched upon the roommate situation. I suppose that is because I never considered my roommate a roommate until tonight.
Yes, the mortgage is in my name. I paid for the house and it is mine to dictate how things are done. Riding that power trip, I lost site of the benefits of having a platonic roommate and what it is they bring to the situation. Before I go on, I must say that things are more than fine in the McAnally casa these days. We worked through our differences after approximately thirteen months (give or take) of fighting. But how do you resolve these differences when blood (or love) isn’t there to help you out?
When first considering a roommate, I would recommend writing down everything you expect from the person who might be residing with you. Some of the “demands” might be ludicrous – after all, who on earth would relinquish every Sunday evening in front of the TV to your Sex and the City habit? And that phobia about all the bedrooms doors remaining shut during the day? And what about your psycho dog and all his peccadilloes? And who really could stand your stints of chain-smoking starting at seven on Friday night lasting anywhere from Sunday evening on into the morning hours of Monday? Just what is it that you would be willing to compromise on for the sake of harmony? Who is to say who gives in first or most?
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