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The Look

© Brenda

My friend recently returned from a two-month stint overseas for work. I met her and a couple others for a welcome home happy hour at our favorite restaurant. We sat outside, pouring over her photos. Of course, there were the usual landmarks and sightseeing pictures, the shots of gardens and monuments and canals. And there were the typical photos of her surrounded by her new friends, sharing food and laughter and beer. My friend is someone who never meets a person who doesn’t take to her immediately. She is constantly around those who know and love her.

One particular photo caught my eye. Although there was nothing romantic in her pairing with one overseas employee (her boyfriend remained here in the States save a week’s visit ending with flying her home), the photo captured something I think all women look for from a romantic partner: The Look.

It was one of those self-portraits where you hold your camera at arm’s length and smile goofily. Her face had the expression of a vital young woman truly enjoying life. It could have been taken from a photo bank for a car advertisement or a caption of “It’s Miller Time” underneath her. It wasn’t unusual to see her smiling this broadly. Like I said, she’s just that kind of person. What made it unique, what struck me deep down somewhere and made my heart ache, was the way in which her foreign friend was looking at her.

How many of you meet someone and find a mutual interest, find that moment where you just click and you know it’s going to be something special? I’ve seen The Look before on others and years ago when I met my first husband, I felt it directed towards me. It is as though you just look at that person and you know. And it’s been a while since I’ve had that. To be quite honest, that photo made me envious.

I go on and on in here about my desire to remain single and I stand by that. However, that doesn’t mean I always want to be alone. I believe the reason I so adamantly write that it’s okay to be by yourself, that you don’t have to be in a romantic relationship to be whole, is because I truly believe that in being a complete person first, you bring so much more to a relationship once you are in it. But isn’t The Look what we are looking for in all our relationships? Granted, they won’t be perfect and that moment of connection doesn’t mean you won’t fight or fall out (for good or for just a while). It just ensures a better start.

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