Home » Partners & Parents » Single Urban Women » Flirting With Disaster

Flirting With Disaster

© Brenda

I sat there in the restaurant with my friend, waiting on someone to take our order. It had been a bad week – we both needed to let loose, have a few drinks, forget about work and guys – you know, have a girly night. So it was either sitting in this restaurant and drinking, or going home to watch Romy and Michelle for the umpteenth time and making my own drinks. The idea of having someone bring me margaritas and shrimp was much more appealing considering my mood.

“Can I get you ladies something to drink?” The evening took a turn for the better with one sentence.

Okay, so he was a good ten plus years younger than me. And yes, he was the typical actor/waiter (I thought that only happened in LA and NY). And overly flirtatious. At one point, I told him he just wanted a good tip and to cut it out because “Babe, you’re already getting one.” We laughed – my friend dropped her Malibu and pineapple and the glass shattered. He would look at us through half-closed lids, peering out through dark, lush lashes. At one point, I actually blushed.

When he wasn’t around, my girlfriend and I would talk about what most women normally do when they get together minus their boyfriends or husbands – men. Unfortunately, my new-found “friend” decided to check on us right in the middle of me telling my girlfriend my views on oral sex. Of course he joined in. And of course I did as I always do – I teased him about being too young to know anything about it. That’s when he said the words that shut me up in a heartbeat.

“I think I’m ready to learn.”

I’m not flattering myself to think he was sincere. But it made me start to think. Just how far is too far when it comes to flirting? If you are in a committed relationship, is any amount of flirting okay? Or only the harmless variety, meant to get through a dull dinner or boring meeting? And how do you know when to stop, when it’s gone too far?

There are several “levels” of flirting, and most of them ARE of the harmless variety. It is important to acknowledge what you (and what your boyfriend or date) is doing, and if the flirting in question is worth getting upset over.

Flirting as a Time Killer

This type of flirting is the sort you do in line at the bank, or while you’re waiting to see the doctor. You know it won’t go anywhere, you know that he knows the same thing. It can jumpstart your mood in an otherwise ordinary situation or boring day.

The copyright of the article Flirting With Disaster in Single Urban Women is owned by . Permission to republish Flirting With Disaster in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.