Good Enough

Since I wrote two articles last week, I decided this week to address a concern I've had recently regarding women - single or part of a couple, urban or rural. It is an issue of importance to us all.

While researching topics for articles over the past several months, one subject arose more than any other did, and I was amazed how many women are dealing with this issue on a daily basis. The matter is self-image - how we can achieve and maintain a positive, HEALTHY self-image, not one based on what the media tells us we should be.

Why is it that an intelligent, funny, attractive woman of 33 years has so much trouble believing she is good enough? Why is it that my beautiful friends all tell me "I'm fat," "I'll never find love," or if they do, why do we find ourselves changing in order to fit into what is commonly perceived as beautiful in our culture (i.e., knocking ourselves out at the gym, depriving ourselves on yet another diet, forgoing a short and sassy haircut we want because "men love long hair on women")?

I found myself comparing myself to a woman (a girl, really) in her early 20s the other day. She was our waitress at a marina restaurant. True, her skin was glowing, she was lean and tanned, and she had that casual attitude of youth: everything in the world was at its peak right then for her (although I seriously doubt she realized it - that kind of wisdom comes only with age). I started feeling fat, old, lackluster, blah. The feeling didn't go away for a few days.

Then I realized something: all those things she had that I didn't (at least not anymore, because I looked pretty damned good at the same age) I made up for in experience. Could she know the feeling of buying a house on her own? Could she know the disappointment in losing the love of your life so early on, and having him realize a little too late what a mistake he made in letting her go, and having to live with that every day? Could she know the sadness in losing touch with the people she thought she'd always be friends with at eighteen? Could she know how it feels to lose a job, not just some summer job or college job, but a job you put your heart and soul, sweat and tears into? Or worse yet, losing a parent, a child, or a spouse to death? Or watching your friends lose someone they love?

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