To Play Or Not To Play
His answer made an impression on me that haunts me to this day. “All those games. You didn’t seem to need me, to want me around. Many times I tried to get close to you, and since you kept pulling away, I decided to move on. Now you’re honest. I haven’t seen that before. You’re still the same as I remember, only without the games.” Too much water under the bridge, we parted as friends. It left me wondering how many others I had screwed up with by not being myself?
There was the one guy who, upon meeting him I declared “I do not get emotional over men.” I honestly didn’t think I would. However, when it came to be that I was indeed feeling something more than lust for him, he seemed miffed that I had misrepresented myself in the first place, when I could have just kept my mouth shut. What was it that the Beatles sang about the fool playing it cool by making his world a little colder?
On the flip side, being too honest and up-front right away can kill off a blossoming relationship. Too much too soon and the mystery is gone. Again, think about what is appealing about a new romance – what got you was the constant anticipation of what would happen next. Would we still like each other? What would it be like when we finally got physical? All the little questions and all that excitement was just coursing through our veins. Then you get past the “honeymoon” to the real part of the relationship – just as good, although not quite as exciting. Still, you have those memories of misunderstandings and surprises and unexpected gifts (real or intangible) to remember when things have settled down to a nice, consistent level of intimacy. Unless you rush things. Then you aren’t left with much at all.
One friend decided that she had it with all these manipulations and games when she meet Gary. Emily was smitten at first sight: here was this guy with a great sense of humor, who shared her love for parasailing and had once lived in her small hometown. It was an instant and requited attraction.
Not wanting to play “hard to get”, Emily accepted every phone call, left her weekend plans open in hopes they would get together, let Gary know right away that she liked him. And to her surprise, what
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