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To Play Or Not To Play

© Brenda

A huge fan of “Sex and the City”, I was thinking of a particular episode while driving into work this morning. “The Games People Play” – memorable in part because of Jon Bon Jovi’s appearance in the story (can’t help it – I’m a child of the 80s). It was all about the games people participate in while in the throes of romantic involvement. I used to think that I never partook in this childish endeavor. Then it hit me: you simply cannot get around it. I, too, was guilty.

Think back to the last time you made a love connection with someone…did you tell him right away that you liked him? Did you accept dates with him regardless of how short the notice? Did you always return his phone calls? Did he call you when he said he would? When did you finally ease up and let your guard down a little? Or did you ever?

Ah, the age-old questions of love! And as they say, “all is fair in love and war”, so we just seem to accept it, it becomes second nature to do so. But when should it stop? Do we ever get to a point in the relationship where it’s no longer necessary to play games?

Carrying it too far can cause a budding romance to wither. At the ripe young age of 28, I started seeing someone seven years younger than me. Although crazy about this guy, I never let on. No public displays of affection were allowed; I didn’t even refer to our dates as “dates”, lest some label restrict me (or scare him off) in some way. I thought I was playing it cool.

It ended with my young man about two months into the affair. I often wondered what happened, since the relationship just seemed to dissolve itself. Most likely he found someone else, someone he liked better than me, or someone younger perhaps. Eventually, I just shrugged it off and went on.

Fast forward ten months: I’m at a comedy club with friends and who should show up but my former lover? Laughter being one of my favorite aphrodisiacs (not to mention the flow of liquor at our table, and the fact that he confessed he came that night to see me), I ended up with him again for the night. Or so I thought.

Back at my apartment, falsely empowered by José Cuervo, I asked him the question that had been in the back of my mind for ages – why did it just disappear between us when we seemed to really be getting along.

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