Jealousy Is Such A Lonely Word

Being the self-professed Drama Queen, I have been known to throw tantrums when it comes to jealousy. In fact, my boyfriend accuses me of being pathologically jealous. After an outing last Friday, he seemed convinced I was. Or at least he did until yesterday, when he gave me a test to determine “How Jealous Are You?”, something found in a book of psychological “exams” at the back of his closet. Bracing myself with a couple shots of tequila and chain-smoking like a fiend, I underwent his scrutiny and actually answered every question honestly. Amazing feat for a Pisces, he would say.

When it came time to score the size of my green-eyed monster, I was slightly nervous. Okay, so I DID get a little green around the gills from time to time, but wasn’t that NORMAL??? I would have given my new lime green mules, however, just to have a photo of the look on his face when we read the final tally. My score didn’t even register on the scale! He laughed and finally admitted he didn’t think I really was all that bad – he just liked to spar with me about it, which is one of his more endearing qualities (among many).

That endearing quality of his aside, the subject of jealousy visited my dreams last night and I awoke this morning wondering just how much jealousy is too much, and how much is “normal”? And is there such a thing as a person who is NEVER jealous?

The last point is easiest to cover, so I will address it first and firmly: NO. True, there are people who don’t get THAT jealous, and people who handle it well – some so well, in fact, that they don’t seem to become jealous at all. Since the definition of jealousy is “intolerant of rivalry or unfaithfulness” and “vigilant in guarding a possession”, it would be likely that the only people who don’t get jealous at all are those who simply do not care. My boyfriend claims that although he used to become very jealous, he now no longer worries about it because he cannot do anything to change someone else’s behavior. A healthy (and infuriating for me) attitude – it still does not negate his jealousy. He is just better at hiding (or dealing with) it than I am. He’s grown to the point of maturity (don’t laugh, M) that allows him to see that while he may not like it or even get hurt if I go out with someone else, he cannot change my actions by becoming jealous about them. He is one of the ones who has a grip on that monster who has been known to rear its head in all of us. I would like to think eventually I could learn from his example and just relax.

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