What I Did In My Spare Time (While Waiting For Mr. Right)
After the demise of my first marriage, I took little time at all to regroup and refocus on my life as a newly single young woman. Jumping right into another marriage only two years later, it seemed to me I had spared myself the agony (I thought) of participating once again in Dating. Evil word – it spoke to me of weird set-ups, short-lived and disappointing love affairs, and dry spells I just knew I couldn’t survive.
When the second union failed, I thought it best to refrain from relationships for a while. Dating wasn’t exactly the demon seed I saw it to be when I was younger. It became more of a testing ground for compatibility and mutual happiness rather than something to rush quickly through. I decided to bide my time: I wasn’t going anywhere, and if he really was “right,” Mr. Right would be there once I got started on my journey to self-discovery.
I didn’t realize then, when making that decision to stay single for a while, that I would grow to cherish my state as one whole, and not one half of a couple. Five years have passed and I find myself still in this self-imposed hiatus. Granted, I had a couple boyfriends here and there, but I was careful, watched what was going on and actually (for once) paid attention to any signs given me (and they are always there, I just didn’t always want to see them) telling me to continue on the current path, or change directions to my now well-known and well-loved single state.
When I first was faced with boyfriend-less weekends, I had to make myself do something constructive. This was particularly difficult for the serial monogamist I once was. After the initial shock wore off, however, I began to look forward to my time alone instead of seeing it as a punishment. Weekends were for friends, the occasional date, projects I never started (or started and didn’t finish) because of the presence of some male in my life. What I learned is this: you cannot put off living (really living) your life just because you haven’t yet found that “one perfect person” to live with.
The things I did while single have been blessing me hundred-fold over the past few years:
** Scary as it was, I bought a house. Before, I would have been afraid that I would meet someone I wanted to share my life with, and there I would be with this extra real estate to deal with. Having grown up a little, I realized that a house was the smartest move I could make. I would just deal with the “extra” property if and when it ever became an issue. I’ve been in my house a year now, and the joy I have had in making it my home has been worth every penny. Okay, so I am dating someone exclusively now – no worries. It has been a good investment, an investment in myself, and I am sure I will be in my house for years to come. I haven’t seen the last of my single days yet!
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