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Making Friends

© Erin Kinloch

As a single parent, friends can be some of the most important people in your life. When family support is limited or not possible, good friends can often be important for sharing the concerns, burdens and joys of raising children. While making new friends can be a challenge, it's worthwhile, especially if your social network is too small for your liking. But how do you meet new people? You can try just walking up and talking to people, but that might not be very successful. The easiest way to meet people is to become involved in an activity where you will meet other people.

Look at your current friends and acquaintances and try to remember how you met each one of them. Then think about the activities that you have enjoyed in the past or would like to try in the future. Perhaps an activity you enjoyed in the past helped you meet one of your current friends. Even if your interests are solitary, you can still make them social. There are groups for people who like reading, photography and writing. Some other places to meet new people are community centers, sporting clubs, night school, volunteer work, religious activities, health clubs, political groups and parties held by current friends. Another way of meeting people is to look around at the faces that are already familiar to you. If there are people in your neighborhood, at work or elsewhere who are always pleasant to you and who smile when they see you and seem willing to talk, they may be open to developing a friendship.

Once you have made a few acquaintances and feel confident, you may choose to take the next step and deepen the relationship. But best friends don't happen overnight so take things slowly. Here are a few ways to do this.

 Make your relationships a priority. Be sure when building friendships to give them higher priority than daily tasks like washing dishes or vacuuming. If having friends is important to you, give spending time with your friends a higher priority than solitary tasks.

 Strive for reasonably regular contact with people that are important to you. You could set up a meeting for lunch or another activity at least once a month. A phone call can replace a meeting if you are short on time. It's not as good as meeting in person but keeps the communication open.

 Friends are voluntary, so remember to allow closeness without pushing it. It can be tempting to grab hold of a new friend. Unfortunately, this usually has the effect of driving them off. Getting together to talk and have fun works best when it comes from an open invitation rather than a sense of obligation.