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Blank Slates

© Kerry Hook

Well, we made it through the holidays fairly well. What a rush! Got the shopping done. Got the Christmas lights up even through the ladder was too short. Got them back down again. I ended up pulling the darn things off! Got through the New Year’s celebration alone, and now I’ve got to figure out where this next year is going. The holidays were a piece of cake compared to this next task – what to do with the blank slate in front of me.

Each year seems to pass by quicker than the last, and each year I hope to improve my life in some small way. Unfortunately, it is always easier to condemn my efforts, than applaud them. So despite the near Herculean effort it seems to pat my self on the back, here I go.

I am counting my blessings (not my natural state of mind).

1. My daughter and I had peace. There were no court battles for custody or visitation this past year.

2. My daughter is doing well. She is a straight A student. She is healthy, and she is happy.

3. I am healthy and have a good job.

4. Even though things sometimes seem like a struggle, we manage and we are manage pretty darn well!

5. I got the Christmas lights up on the outside of the house! That was a major struggle, and in the past, I simply hung lights inside around the windows. It meant a lot to me to “normalize” Christmas for my daughter. I have always loved a lighted house at Christmas and I was determined that this year we would have one and we DID.

Actually, now that I think about it, last year I did improve my life. I am sure I could think of more, if I really gave it some thought. The most important thing to me is that I feel so much better about being a single mom now. I am reasonably content. I realize that it is entirely possible that I will remain a single mom, and I am confident that things will work out for my daughter and myself. I don’t feel like I “need” a man to make our family complete - I am not even sure I want one.

So here we sit, poised on the edge of the New Year – a blank slate that rolls out before us. What to do with all this possibility? What do we truly want to do with it? Do we have the courage to do something with it?

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