My advice to anyone in a similar situation is get out NOW. I know you are under a lot of stress, just trying to exist from day to day, and keep it together. I know you are worried about how you will make it if you leave. I know you are embarrassed about this and ashamed to tell others. And I know that these men can be very charming or very frightening when they want to be, but you must consider these traits for what they are, just a weapon in their arsenal to control you. The first time he abuses you is almost never the last time.
Remember this: you are courageous. It took courage to stay and endure this abuse for the sake of your children. Don't let anyone tell you any differently. Now you need to redirect your courage and use it to leave for the sake of your children. Stop believing there is anything that you can do that will make things better. This situation is beyond your control. Did you know that recent research has found that women in these relationships begin as a very diverse group of people, with the spectrum of personalities, but in the end, we end up being very similar: fearful and afraid, with a reduced self-esteem?
| Here's the follow-up discussion on this article: | View all related messages |
For a complete listing of article comments, questions, and other discussions related to Kerry Hook's Single Moms topic, please visit the Discussions page.