Home » Partners & Parents » Single Fathers » On your mark, get set, DATE

On your mark, get set, DATE

© Mike Gowen

Did you see Sleepless in Seattle? Remember when Rosie O'Donnell's character told Meg Ryan's character that "over the age of 35 you were more likely to be killed by a terrorist than to get married." To which Meg responded, "That's not true." "But it feels true," Rosie shoots back.

Dating is certainly no easy task in this day and time. Complicate this with single parenthood and it's next to impossible - though not impossible. When I became single again this last time it took me awhile before I wanted to consider dating. I think my main objection was that I didn't want my kids to be hurt - again. It still scares me. Let's face it, you can't have a relationship with someone and keep your kids in a closet. The flip side of this is that you can't hide in a closet because you have kids. Why should we punish ourselves because we made the responsible choice of wanting to raise our children? The obvious answer is you shouldn't.

So here I go in search of heartache again. I tried the bar scene although I think there are certainly better avenues to meet new people. Not that it can't be done, I just think a bar is not always the best place to get to know someone. I heard a comedian awhile back recommend this for the bar scene, "Go ugly early and drink em pretty." Amusing on the surface but hardly a recommendation worth following.

Since I have children of ages varying from nine to nineteen I try to be careful about who I bring around them. I never wanted to contribute to a rousing game of who's waking up with Daddy? And let us not forget the brutal honesty of kids. I dated a young woman once that was in her early twenties. Okay, so I was mid thirties but she seemed mature and I felt young. I brought her home after we went out a few times and she met my older daughters. I first realized I was in trouble when I saw they had way too much in common with one another. My seventeen-year-old daughter came up to me and said, "I like her Dad. She's cute - she's blonde - she's perky - she's in my geometry class." She wasn't in my daughter's class but I got the point. I told my daughters I was just waiting for them to get older so I could date their friends. :)