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Keeping your kids busy and yourself sane

© Mike Gowen

Its been said one of the best ways to keep your child out of trouble is to keep them busy. Get them involved in sports, or dance, a musical instrument, etc. Anything to keep them from having too much idle time on their hands with which they are tempted to find less than positive things to fill their time with. This is often difficult for a two-parent household when it comes to juggling our kid's schedules with our own. For a single parent, it's often next to impossible. Forget about the expense involved, just trying to get them to all the places they need to be, when they need to be their involves strategy that makes Desert Storm seem like a simple task to organize. If you have more than one child that is involved in an extracurricular activity, it's even more difficult.

For example, let's take one child playing one sport. Two practices a week plus two games translates into four times that you have to juggle to get them from point A to point B. Not to mention that you are usually asked to have them there at least 30 minutes before you actually get off from work or within 30 minutes after. I myself have set land speed records picking my kids up, getting them dressed, finding the equipment they misplaced since the last game, feeding them, and ultimately getting them to the ball field. It's a parental nightmare at times.

One way to help offset some of the pressure of keeping up with everybody's schedules is to get to know some of the other parents and form car pools. If you can make some contacts and find people you trust, this can be a lifesaver. You drive to practice on Tuesday; they drive on Thursday, and so on. The kids still get where they need to go and you get some relief. Outside of that, be realistic when it comes to getting your kids involved in things and don't overextend yourselves. I had a friend whose daughter played soccer, basketball, took dance and violin lessons. This girl had to be somewhere six days a week, plus keep up with her work at school. I think that's going just a little too far. I want my kids to have opportunities that I didn't growing up but I don't want them to kill themselves or me doing it!

If you can keep some perspective here and be realistic for both you and your child's sake, activities outside the school can be rewarding for both of you. It teaches your child teamwork, discipline, sportsmanship, and the thrill of competition. On those days when you are given that last-minute deadline and have no choice but to miss that practice or game, don't beat yourself up over it. Be honest with your child. Let them know that sometimes circumstances are simply beyond your control. Dale Carnegie wrote an excellent book years ago along the lines of, "How to Not Worry about Anything." One of the principles he teaches is that when something goes wrong, rather than worrying yourself sick over it simply do the following: Stop and think about the worst things that could go wrong as a result of what has happened. Decide what you would do in the worst scenario, and then drop it. Most of the time the worst scenario won't come into play anyway. My mom has quoted the Prayer of Serenityto me as long as I can remember. It's displayed on several plaques throughout our home. Lord, give me the strength to change the things I can, the courage to accept the things I can't, and the wisdom to know the difference. I think we will all be better off as parents if we can instill this little bit of wisdom in our own children.

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