My dad and I didn't choose the same paths in life. He would rather hang than be caught behind a desk and keyboard all day and I, well, here I am. He worked harder than any man I knew while growing up and although we didn't live the life of luxury, we always had food to eat and clothes to wear. He was always gone to work by the time I woke up and went to bed soon after dinner. He worked in construction and I can remember as if it were yesterday the times I got to go along and ride on the bulldozer with him. I can still feel the fear that grasped me as we went tearing along through the forest in our vehicle that seemed impervious to anything in its way. He never had much to say when I was younger but he was always there. There was strength in his silence. His job often kept him away from my ballgames or school plays and there were times when I was young that I resented him for it. It was not until later in life that I realized the sacrifice he made so that I could participate in the things I did. So as his birthday approaches, let me take a moment to say; "Thanks Dad, I love you for what you have meant to me and will always mean to me".
Okay, some of you are going, now what does this have to do with being a single father? Well, it's simple actually. As I thought about the impact my dad had on me growing up and still today I began to think about the impact I was making on my own children. Let me ask you the same question. What are you doing to make an impact in your children's life that someday might give them reason to say, thanks dad? Whether you have custody or not, you have an obligation to be a part of their life. Don't misunderstand me when I use the term obligation, I'm not talking just financially. I think that goes without saying. This author has no compassion or tolerance for those deadbeat parents (yes, it works both ways) that feel their financial responsibility to their children is secondary to their own. I have yet to meet anyone that could not contribute at least something to insure the wellbeing of the children they helped conceive. But that's another article when I'm more in the mood of standing on my soapbox. No, I'm talking about the obligation of being a presence in the rearing of your child. Now I realize that sometimes circumstances beyond our control make this difficult. This is especially true if there is great tension between Mom & Dad. In the words of the Eagles song, parents... Get over it! Quit making your children suffer because for whatever reason your relationship failed. It must have worked well enough at one time to bring a child into the world.
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