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Family Problems - Gifted Child

© Peggy Kord

Research does not present gifted children as potential problems. It does contend that gifted children present unique challenges and problems to a family!

Parent expectations can result in problems. Many parents feel that their role is to shape, control, and manage the life of their child. They seek to gratify their own perception of what their gifted child should be. Coleman, a gifted child researcher, believes that parents may be trying to raise a child whose excellence showers credit on them and if the child fails to live up to parental expectations that child is letting the parents down. First and foremost parents must realize that a gifted child cannot be expected to be gifted in all areas, in all things, all of the time. To avoid problems, parents must not try to put any more pressure on their gifted child than society will.

Gifted children may also elicit feelings of inadequacy in their parents. This can happen in several ways. Parents may feel that they cannot provide emotional support, intellectual stimulation, or do not have the educational resources need to meet the child’s needs.

Problems may also arise when parents feel that their own intelligence is inadequate in coping with the child’s questions and level of activity. Parents may even deny the fact that their child is gifted. They do not want a gifted child. By accepting the “gift” they would also have to accept the responsibility. Parents actually become threatened by the presence of their gifted child and long for a “good average child”. These feelings are a direct result of society stereotyping gifted children. Parents may fear that they will raise a scrawny bookworm who will live a life of loneliness.

Parents of gifted children can avoid problems raised by the doubt of their parenting skills by staying familiar with research, articles and needs of their gifted child.

Sibling relationships may also become problematic. Common problems faced by parents are resentful or jealous feelings in other family members. An older average child may feel frustrated and inferior to a younger gifted brother or sister. The gifted child may surpass his older sibling’s achievements at an earlier age causing resentment. The problem of giving equal attention when a gifted child seems to demand more time to answer more complex questions becomes an issue.

All family time and activities must not be sacrificed for the gifted family member. This would not only put undo pressure on the gifted child but would also set an unhealthy precedent.