The Islamic class was not considered to be serious, and when I left the school I was considered amongst the elite of the country because I could speak English and wore western clothes. Despite periodically shouting "Pakistan Zindabad" (Long Live Pakistan!) at school functions, I considered my own culture backward and Islam an outdated religion.
Amongst our group if any one talked about religion, prayed or kept a beard he was
immediately branded a Mullah*. Because of the power of the Western Media, all our heroes were western movie or pop stars. When I went to
Oxford already burdened with this hang-up from my school days, things didn't get any easier.
In university, not just Islam but all religions
were considered an anachronism. Science had replaced religion and if something couldn't be logically proved it did not exist. All
supernatural stuff was confined to the movies. Philosophers like Darwin with his half-baked theory of evolution were supposed to have disproved the creation of men and hence religion. Moreover, the European history had an awful experience with religion. The horrors
committed by the Christian clergy in the name of God during the Inquisition had left a powerful impact on the western mind.
To understand why the west is so keen on secularism, one should go to places like Cordoba in Spain and see torture apparatus used during Spanish Inquisition. Also the persecution of scientists as heretics by the clergy convinced the Europeans that all religions are regressive.
However, the biggest factor that drove people like me away from religion was the selective Islam practised by most of its preachers.
In other words, there was a huge difference between what they practised and what they preached. Also, rather than explaining the
philosophy behind the religion, there was an overemphasis on rituals. I feel that humans are different from animals. Whereas the latter can be drilled, humans need to be intellectually convinced. That is why the Quran constantly appeals to reason.
The worst, of course, was the exploitation of Islam for political gains by various individuals or groups. Hence, it was a miracle I did not become an atheist. The only reason why I did not was the powerful religious influence wielded by my mother on me since my childhood. It was not so much out of conviction but love for her that I stayed a Muslim.
