Over the last four months as I was preparing for the birth of my son and then taking care of a new born baby, I have been thinking about how I would answers these questions. (In between states of utter exhaustion and two hour cat naps, of course)
I would have to say that in these last four months I have 'lived' more than I have ever lived in the past. I was put on bed rest so my son wouldn't be born premature and even though I spent five weeks on the couch it was during that time that I really began to 'live'. Or at least I came to the understanding of what I needed to do for myself to live fully. I read, and did the contemplative work of "One Day My Soul Just Opened Up",by Iyanla Vanzant, while I waited. I wasn't allowed to go out, or do anything around the house without causing risk to my baby.
And because of that I really began to see how much I take for granted. To suddenly be denied freedom of movement and activity was very hard and I had never before thought about how carefree my life really was. I thought it was full of stress and responsibility. It wasn't I could go where I wanted when I wanted. Do as I pleased pretty much all the time. Now I couldn't, or would it ever be that easy again once Owen was born.
The 'soul work' in her book, helped me to keep my mind active and see where my blessings are and where I need to encourage blessings to grow. I highly recommend this book to everyone.
When my son was born and he became ill, I came to appreciate the fragility of life and how important it is to appreciate each day and enjoy life. My son is healthy and prefect now (A mothers prerogative to believe her child is perfect) and each day with him is a joy and full of wonder. As he grows and experiences everything for the first time I am caught up in re-experiencing everything through his eyes. The patterns of shadows on the wall mesmerize him and I see the beauty in them too. The little things are the most important in our lives right now. I feel extremely lucky to have such a wonderful teacher in my life to remind me of the things I already knew and had just forgotten.
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