Home » Film & TV » Science Fiction Films » End of Days: Arnold Goes to the Devil

End of Days: Arnold Goes to the Devil

© Elizabeth Burton

Director: Peter Hyams
Writer: Andrew W. Marlowe
Cast: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Gabriel Byrne, Kevin Pollack, Robin Tunney, CCH Pounder, Rod Steiger

As the last day of 1999 approaches, the Catholic Church is in an uproar. Somewhere, a 20-year-old woman is about to become the bride of Satan. If that happens, he will take over the earth.

None of which has anything to do with private security guard and occupational drunk Jericho Cane, until he's hired by none other than the recently incarnated Lucifer himself (all unbeknownst, of course) and gets shot at by a tongueless mad priest who calls himself Thomas Aquinas. The next thing he knows, Jericho is hip-deep in the end of the world as we know it, and he cares a heck of a lot.

Frankly, we need another Satan-makes-a-baby movie like we need a resurrection of pet rocks. Attention, Movieland: IT'S BEEN DONE!!!

Even so, this sad attempt to cash in on Y2K might have been at least mildly enjoyable if it had offered even the tiniest bit of originality. Instead, Marlowe seems to have spent six months watching every Satanically oriented movie ever made and then adopted as many cliches as he could cram into the script. Hyams then proceeds to slather that exercise in inanity with as much broken glass, falling bodies, explosions and fake blood as the budget would allow. The result is a silly, pointless waste of time, unless you get a big charge out of counting bloopers that made the final cut. (Just what did happen to Arnold's umbilical cable?)

To give him credit, Schwarzenegger did have several moments of real emotional depth and he handled them well. It's unfortunate that they got lost in the general mayhem. As for Gabriel Byrne's rampaging Devil, he would have been much scarier if he had been a little less clichééd. Byrne was so busy being a comic book villain that it his obvious glee in what he was doing became all too evident--rather like Brando's in The Island of Doctor Moreau.

There are no surprises here, and that's why the movie fails so miserably. We've seen it all before, and throwing in a lot of fancy F/X just doesn't make it worth our while to see it all again.

Rated R for "intense violence and gore, a strong sex scene and language."

The copyright of the article End of Days: Arnold Goes to the Devil in Science Fiction Films is owned by Elizabeth Burton. Permission to republish End of Days: Arnold Goes to the Devil in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.