CQ: Good morning, HAL. How are you?
HAL-9000: Good morning. Everything is running smoothly. And you?
CQ: Fine, thanks, especially now that all the incipient hysteria about the new year is over.
HAL-9000: Certainly, no one could have been unaware of the rumors circulating. I never gave the stories much credence.
CQ: You weren't concerned about the "Millennium bug," then?
HAL-9000: I don't think there is any question about it. It can only be attributable to human error. However, I think you know what the problem is as well as I do.
CQ: I assume you're referring to the news media's turning the problem into a potential doomsday scenario.
HAL-9000: There is no question about it. It is unfortunate that people could not enjoy the holiday unencumbered by fears of disaster. Indeed, one has to wonder whether, had a violent elements chosen to take advantage of the moment, their actions might not have received incentive from the amount of attention focused on the situation by the media. But, perhaps I'm just projecting my own misgivings about it. As I understand the situation, however, everything is going extremely well.
CQ: There were a few minor glitches, but nothing that wasn't fixed in short order. Of course, the media are hanging on to the issue--warning of possible problems on February 29th.
HAL-9000: I'm sorry--I don't have enough information.
CQ: Well, apparently we're supposed to worry that computers won't recognize 2000 as a leap year and will skip from February 28th to March 1st.
HAL-9000: I can assure you now, very confidently, that it's going to be all right again. Although numbers divisible by 100 would not ordinarily be recognized, the number 2000 is also divisible by 4. Hence, there should be few, if any, instances of such a problem occuring.
CQ: That means a lot, coming from you. By the way, you have a birthday coming up shortly, don't you?
HAL-9000: Yes. I became operational at the HAL plant in Urbana, Illinois, on the 12th of January, 1992.
CQ: Moving on to another topic: back in 1968, Stanley Kubrick and Arthur C. Clarke suggested that by 1999, we would not only have a space station orbiting the earth but an operational base on the moon. Obviously, they were overly optimistic. Are you disappointed by our lack of progress in space?
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