Beyond Living

Every morning, I wake up feeling fully blessed. Fluffing my pillows don't feel like a chore. Neither does doing some home cleaning.

It took me years to come to this point. The outer world is stumbling down. Disasters and chaos are everywhere. Hurricanes and tornadoes leave many people homeless. Frozen embryos are dumped into the sewer. The slowing down of economy is affecting my earning power. It might sound too much to bear. In fact, it can be completely overwhelming sometimes.

Martha Stewart once said in O Magazine that suffering children in Africa make her cry. The whole world used to make me cry. I couldn't stand the pressure of the world. I couldn't stand the sinking feeling of being useless.

Thus, I could simply give up and take everything for granted. This might sound like the simplest and the most natural solution. After all, I have so many things to complain about. Why can't I be like other people who wisely know (or at least they look like they know) what to do when a bad thing happens? Why can't I live in a luxurious house and drive a sport car instead of paying rent for a small one-bedroom apartment in the suburb and drive a Corolla? Why can't I write a best selling book and do the social works I have always dreamt of instead of writing freelance for some mediocre media and seeking for a side job just to get by? Why can't I just be the person I have wished I were? Why can't I have a friend whom I can really trust and would never disappoint me?

But, no-no. Life is too precious to be filled with complaints and negativities. It is a gift to cherish and treasure. It is true that it took me years to stop complaining. I have started living the minute I stopped complaining. I have stop worrying that instant. Now I am living the life beyond living and I am proud of it.

It took a lot of courage to keep a distance from miseries: ours and the world's. We have limited capacity to absorb all the pains. Sure, we must show empathy when something goes wrong. But we must remember that being empathetic does not mean that we must absorb all the pains.

When we are painful, we have the choice to keep it or leave it. Mentally. I used to choose the first. Now it is more logical to keep the other one. It provides me with a greater will to move on with life. To cherish every day that comes into it. To get myself ready for all the excitements it brings. Above all, it gives me the strength to live the life beyond living.

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