Our society encourages us to plan ahead. Make plans for education, career's and buying a home. For the majority of society this works out fine. They can plan thier weekend getaway's or summer vacations or just eating out that very night. It doesn't work that way for me or the people I am close to. Plans aren't flexable to the unpredictable chaos which epilepsy can bring to everyday life. So how do you live with it? How do you learn to accept that flexability may mean abandoning your hopes, hobbies, career's and the idea of future security?
I have had this personal struggle for quite sometime and still on occassion wonder how I will make it through.Your caught in a catch 22, you can't be to rigid and you can't be too flexable, both can destroy you and your relationships. If you expect to do things in the same way you always have, you will find yourself beating your head against a brick wall!
So what are your choices? You really only have one and that is to go with the flow. There are going to be times when family and friends will have to understand that no matter how much you may want something, it may not be good for you. That certain days going to the movies and lunch just isn't an option. They don't always understand this and get thier feelings hurt or feel like thier day has been ruined. Not realizing that this isn't something you did intentionaly to advoid them.
To stop expecting a smooth orderly day is a key step in redirecting your thinking and those around you. It will help keep all of you sane. Realizing that nothing in your life will ever be as it was will open up channels you would have never thought of. It forces you to spend energy and find new meaning.Sometimes it's a real struggle when I look at that fact I can't hold down a job, I can't drive and I have to depend on everyone around me. I have to really look into myself sometimes to find the good qualities in me and what I bring to those in my world. It helps to do this, to know I do still have meaning to others in my life.
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