A Word On Suite 101 Community

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Jul 1, 2001

This month I missed my deadline for publication, and I want to explain why. Not only is my lack of an article a disappointment to readers and the Suite 101 community, but it doesn't do much in the way of my being a role model as a Managing Editor here at the Suite. I would like to explain.

We all reach points in our lives which are crises situations. For my family, we thought the worse crises we could imagine occurred at the end of September 2000, when my then two year old son was admitted on an emergency basis to the hospital and we were confronted with the diagnosis of kidney disease. We were wrong, the worst crises didn't come until June 2001 when he remained nonresponsive to even end stage treatments, when the treatments seemed to make his condition worse.

I spent much of June in hospital at my sons bedside, and much time in deliberations with his father and my sons doctors trying to decide what our best course of action was. We were given three options, none of them anything better than the lesser of three evils. We chose, after much heartbreak to try a treatment which at least kept my son comfortable, and able to play and hopefully remain out of the hospital. We chose the path of least invasiveness, and now we hope that we have made the best decision.

So, my mind was on anything but dreams, or my duties as a writer and an editor these past months. In fact, those dreams I have had, I often wish I did not recall because they were dreams of death, heartache and passage. But for me, that passage lead to a certain sort of acceptance and knowing that I had to go on and keep my sons life as normal as possible, regardless of if he is given ten months, or ten years of comfort on this earth. So, that means mommy has to work too, that is part of my families normal existence. So, I'm back, and my worries and concerns are all there still, but they are part of a whole again, rather than one fragmented focus on illness and disease.

Thank you to my readers for bearing with me through this difficult time, and to my fellow Contributing Editors who have shined quite well without my Managing Editor tutelage over the past few months. At times we must all stand alone, and take responsibility for our actions. This is my stand, and my apology because I neglected some parts of my life that deserved just as much nurturing as others. It is simply that at times our priorities become something we cannot choose for ourselves because circumstance chooses for us. Thank you again for your support. We often take for granted the Suite 101 community as something that can be turned on and off like a computer modem, but I have found that many here, whether they be fellow writers or readers, have been there to support me both online and off and if anything the word "community" has become much more meaningful to me of late thanks to those wonderful people. I'm here to tell you that I am once again ready to contribute.

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