A Mother's Day Dream Gift

Since I became a mommy my world perspective has altered tremendously. I have different priorities and I think of myself, after I've thought of my children. I'm not use to the selflessness inherent in being a parent. So, I've been looking for little ways to reattach the old inner me that's still there with the outward mommy. I've been trying to fuse independence and interdependence. I'm not saying it can't be done, just that it is the largest and, ultimately, most satisfying compromise I've made in my life.

One area that has become important to me that wasn't before is family history. Hence, last months article, Writing Your Family Dream History. It's a perfect way for me to learn about my relatives, provide an intriguing tool for my children as they grow, and still connect with the not-mommy part of me. Here's some pointers I've come up with in writing down your family's dreams.

Some people think verbally, others think visually. You are more apt to get some relatives to participate by drawing you an image rather than sharing a dream in words. If you can get them to doodle, or paint or even show you an image in a magazine that is similar to their dreams, you have yet another piece of your family's dream puzzle, and a more interesting family encyclopedia.

People value their time, even if they think it's best spent watching re-runs on television and you think it better spent conversing. Sidestep this deterrent by approaching the subject over dinner, or at a specific time and place when distractions are less likely. Have pen and paper ready, or a tape recorder. Or, merely ask your spouse or other relative, "What did you dream last night?" This is perhaps the easiest way to get them to participate. Once they've already started telling you the dream it will be easier for them to agree to let you write it down for future generations to read and ponder.

No doubt your family dream history will be sketchy, such is the nature of dreams. You might at first just have an odd collection of rambling, run-on sentences, fragments of images torn from magazines, or the doodles of your Great Uncle Joe. Still, it's a start and a fun project. The way to keep others, and yourself interested is to compile these wonderful mementos of your family's psyche into an annual book. Add some of your own narrative and thoughts to structure the pages. Run off copies of it and present it to your family with a decorative cover at a special holiday or occasion.

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