I have a friend who declined an invitation to a dinner to celebrate my birthday, because I invited two people he has never met before. He claims it is his social phobia, but I can't help but wonder how close a friend he really is. I would understand better if he were like my other friends who are reluctant to attend social events because they have schizophrenia. They are only willing to socialize with people who understand schizophrenia, which usually requires the person to also have the illness. My other friend with schizophrenia is willing to attend because she knows everybody invited has direct experience of schizophrenia.
I have to admit that I am still uncomfortable socializing with ordinary people. I end up not saying anything, often sit or stand in a corner with no one to talk to, and not much to talk about. Some of it must be low self esteem, and maybe a sense of shame in having a mental illness, some of it must be the stigma associated with mental illness, some of it must be the different path I am following as a result of my illness, and some of it must be the illness itself. How much of one or the other I'm not sure.
The hospital I work in recently polled patients about what help they thought they needed most. The first choice was self esteem. People who are struggling with a mental illness are not very proud of themselves. Their self confidence has been crushed. Their mind has let them down big time and the shame of mental illness can push you to deny you have one. They are not being rewarded for their successes in living with their mental illness.
I have one friend who would get very upset with anyone who started to talk about schizophrenia in a public place, like a city bus or a coffee shop. He wanted to put as much distance between himself and that word as possible, and he didn't want anyone to associate him with that illness.
Go To Page: 1 2
