Is The World is Coming to an End Soon? - Page 2

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Oct 17, 2000

Now I can't say what was true and what wasn't back then. I jumped to a lot of conclusions but I've never been proven wrong per se. Still I don't get paid to worry about things I used to, and so I only focus on concrete things that directly concern me. World affairs is of little interest to me. I would be happy if I could just get this Coppermine 700 up to a Gig. I find that difficult enough. When I was an adolescent I was much different. I cared about people, I cared about the world, I cared about human rights. All that is a luxury now that I don't get paid to worry about, and I couldn't have much impact on anyways. I'm trying to catch up with normal people, get a paying job, a nice place to live, a few good friends, a lover, etc. etc.

Now that I am on medication and trying to pick up the pieces of my life, I wonder about those original conclusions I drew about the future of the world. Were they influenced by schizophrenia that was already taking hold of my life? There is no doubt in my mind now that the future will always be better then the present. When I make a wish, it is that I be born 100 years from now, when they have a cure for schizophrenia, and a Gigahertz computer is an antique. Believing that the future is promising has given me more reason to contribute to that future. In many ways it has given me a reason to live, so that I might watch as the humanity reaches for the stars. Being a part of humanity is something I am becoming very proud to be a part of, and that's something I would never have thought possible when I was an adolescent. I still think it's a shame we are in such an antisexual period, but you can't have everything I guess, and you never know what the future holds, except that it will probably be better.

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