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I'm one of those people who tend to define themselves by what they do. Unfortunately I don't really do anything. It was always excruciatingly painful for me to work as a dishwasher. I have always been poor, but I have never wanted to be associated with the poor. I have absolutely nothing in common with poor people, except my income. I have always had serious self-esteem troubles because of poverty, without many friends of either sex. I think I attempted suicide as a result.
Now I think of myself as disabled, I have schizophrenia. Some people with a serious mental illness call themselves Psychiatric Survivors. They identify themselves as surviving either their illness or psychiatrists of whom they are fanatic critics. Consumers or Consumer/survivors are the labels used most commonly around here. Our Ministry of Health uses the term consumers, possibly because they see us as consuming vast amounts of tax-funded services. I don't know anyone with schizophrenia who likes any of these terms. Poor people are subject to a kind of racism. In our world the caste system exists based on income and wealth instead of color. When times are hard the poor people suffer the most because no one can afford compassion for them. They become scapegoats of sorts. I still find it very hard to be sympathetic for children living in poverty. Their irresponsible and stupid parents had children that they couldn't afford. Why should the government encourage and financially support that stupidity? If I wasn't a few dollars short every day myself, I might be more compassionate. When you wrench someone out of their normal life, into the world of the mentally ill, they have major problems finding an identity they are comfortable with. Recently I have become very interested in first episode and prevention treatment strategies for schizophrenia. Treatment in the first six months of psychotic symptoms generally means a complete recovery for someone with schizophrenia. I was curious how symptoms become manifest in teenagers and why there is such a delay in treatment. The average DUP (Duration of Untreated Psychosis) is two years in London Ontario. Why are people being wrenched out of their normal life if early intervention is so effective? I started to realize that the prodromal symptoms of schizophrenia have a dramatic impact on an individual long before the first psychotic episode. Typically in early schizophrenia an individual has trouble competing with other people, whether it be at school or at work. They have trouble socializing with their peers, and as their social status deteriorates they often develop substance abuse problems. A typical bright teenager watches their grades deteriorate as they lose interest in school. Their circle of friends deteriorates as they try to redefine themselves and maintain their self esteem. As they sink socially their only friends become substance abusing part time criminals. They identify with that social group, and drop out of school. That is not an uncommon pattern among male adolescents developing schizophrenia. It is partly why schizophrenia is such a destructive disease. An individual's very sense of who they are can be completely distorted. They end up literally defining themselves in terms of their disease. Go To Page: 1 2
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