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There once was a saxophone from Nantucket....

© Chris Mindel

I have been searching the internet recently for, and studying, saxophone humor. Now, not jokes that only saxophonists would understand, but jokes that are floating around in the public eye. True, saxophonists might find them more humorous than your average earthling, but not necessarily. I have found some startling facts about saxophone jokes, however, from my research.

The main clue to understanding the nature of saxophone jokes came from Wendy Morrison: webmistress and accordion/clawhammer banjo teacher at the House of Musical Traditions in Takoma Park, MD. [One note: I’ve been to this store. It is a wonderfully magic store, full of talented musicians and exceptional instruments. It is a short walk from the Washington, DC subway system (Takoma Park station on the Red Line). If you are ever nearby, I suggest you stop in.] Wendy also organized the jokes page for the House of Musical Traditions’ website. She did an interesting thing. She has a long section of jokes that appear in the following format:

“Q. What did the * player get on his IQ test? A. Drool.”

Notice the * in that joke. You can put the name of any instrument in place of the *, and the joke still works. I will call this a type one substitution. Many saxophone jokes are type one substitution jokes. You could put in any instrument name in place of the saxophone, and it would still make sense. I subtract all type one jokes from the list of saxophone jokes, as they are not solely jokes about the saxophone.

This of course leads us to type two substitution jokes. They follow this archetype:

“Q. How many * players does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Five. One to do it, and four to comment on how @ would have done it. “

Notice how there is still the * where any instrument can go. But type two also have an @ which can be replaced by any famous * player (that is, any famous players of the instrument substituted for the * ). Type two substitution jokes don’t seem to me to be solely saxophone jokes either, and so I subtract them from the list as well.

What is left? Well, not much. It seems that most musical jokes are able to be adapted to insult and make fun of anyone. So, is musical humor really necessary? Yes. It gives us insults to trade with each other. I can insult a trumpet player with the same joke she or he can insult me with. Sort of puts us on a fair playing field. After all, we are all musicians.

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