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A Good Crew is Like a Perfect Wife

© Anne Schwab

Crew wanted. Able crew wanted. Experienced, dedicated, trustworthy crew wanted.

Have you ever seen those signs? You know the ones, the little slips of paper plastered all over bulletin boards of boathouses from coast to coast. Everyone, it seems, is looking for the ideal crew.

They must be experienced. A crew who knows her way around a whisker pole is a good thing in the world of M16 racing.

They must be dedicated. A crew who is on time for every 8:00 am start is worth his weight in gold.

They must be trustworthy. To show up on time, to have the experience, or if they don’t have experience, to put in the time needed to learn.

They must be everything the skipper wants and more.

I’ve heard some crews mutter that they must be super human. Perhaps not too far a stretch of the imagination.

They must at least have a high tolerance for pain.

A crew’s role in life is difficult. They get plunked in the bow of the boat, supposedly to man the jib, fly the chute, and other such activities that take place up in front. But we all know why they’re really there.

Picture a windy day. What happens on a windy day? That’s right, waves. Often lots of ‘em, and they’re usually not small. Now, a scow coming into a wave is a brazen proposal. One which the wave usually does not take lightly. So who do you think will win? The wave.

Your bow hits the wave, driving forward into it, not turning up or down, so that wave won’t swamp you, but plowing right through it. Assuming you don’t bow-plow (which is never good, and usually the crew’s fault when it does happen because it can’t be the skippers fault, nothing bad that happens on the boat is the skippers fault! After all, she’s the one to shoulder the blame when she doesn’t win.)

The wave, responding to your malicious attack on her, answers the call with a tremendous mass of water that she throws across the bow.

All of which the crew catches, usually squarely in the face, thus protecting her dear skipper from getting wet, chilled, or otherwise inconvenienced.

Usually the skipper them shows his gratitude by shouting something along the lines of, “If you don’t get the &%?!ed chute flying I’ll throw your miserable a#^ overboard!”

After setting the chute, flying the chute, taking it down, manning the jib, pulling the boards up, putting the boards down, running the traveler, and bailing when the water laps at the skippers feet, the crew is usually exhausted after a day’s racing.

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