Princess Sunshine
By the time the wedding celebrations were over, Ella had extracted from her father a promise that the family would visit St. Petersburg some time during the winter to indulge in that exceptionally Russian season. Holding true to this promise, the Grand Duke of Hesse, Alix and Ernest arrived at Ella and Sergei’s residence after Christmas in 1888. Impressionable, romantic and shy, Alix was just in her sixteenth year. St Petersburg was covered in snow, gleaming beneath the northern sun, embellished everywhere with Christmas lights and sparkling frost. And every crisp, luminous morning Alix was visited by a dashing young officer of the Imperial Guard -- the Tsarevich Nicholas whom she had met as a child, only now so tall, so handsome in his uniform. How could she not, at that age, in that enchanting circumstance, lay the foundation for the century’s most breathtaking romance?
Years later, Anna Vyrubova would write in The Life and Tragedy of Alexandra: “On her side, Princess Alix had quickly fallen in love with the Tsarevich. She hid it carefully, and at first, indeed, did not realize it herself. It was only on her return to Darmstadt that she felt that she had left her heart in Russia.”
In 1890, Alix was once again in Russia, thus time in the private summer residence of Grand Duke Sergei. Illinskoye, as the estate was called, was a country mansion in the style of Turgenev’s novels, surrounded by vast meadows and impenetrable woods, sporting immense horizons that met a deep blue sky. Alix, gazing at the white birches beneath her window, felt the liking she already felt for Russia confirmed in an entirely new dimension. Somehow, romantically, the sensitive young girl fell in love with Russia as she had with the future Russian Tsar. From then on, her fate was decided. She left for Darmstadt that year promising to return soon. However, her life then took a twist that changed her plans completely -- she lost her beloved father.
Timidity often prompted Alix to conceal her emotions and to hide how deeply she had been hurt. During the difficult months following her father’s death, she seemed to withdraw even further into her shell of shyness. Many people found her distant as a result, and in her turn she was hurt by their insensitivity. Delving deeper into the Lutheran faith, Alix found consolation in God; then, comfort started
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