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Chelsea's New Year's Lecture ... I Mean Greeting

© Wendy Smith

Hello gentle reader, Chelsea here, again. Yes, I’m back. Wendy was quite impressed with that article that I wrote about my summer vacation. She said she had no idea that I was that talented. I even figured out how to include pictures. Hee-hee.

Well, Wendy is having a rather hectic season, what with working in something called retail (whatever that is) and all. Since she knew she was going to be so busy, she asked me if I would mind writing the next article.

“What do you want me to write about?” I asked as I was chewing on my favorite stuffed animal (his name is Babe-iss and he’s a little Rottie with a squeaker in his head).

“I don’t care. It’s up to you,” she said. “But it is going to be the New Year’s article so perhaps you could use that as a theme.”

“And just what does that have to do with the price of kibble in China?” I snorted and squeaked Babe-iss’s head. “You know good and well that you humans are the only ones weird enough to care about that whole measuring of time thing, Wendy. I live in the NOW, just like every other sane species.”

“Well,” Wendy gave me a thoughtful look, “around this time of year humans usually like to read articles about things to look forward to, or things to be thankful for.”

Things to look forward to?! Things to be thankful for?!

What on Earth is wrong with you crazy humans? You have Rotties in your life and you don’t know what to be thankful for?

OK, then. If you Homo sapiens are such scatterbrains, then sit back and allow me, a humble canine, to inform you of what you have to be thankful for. Just pardon me for a moment while I give Babe-iss one more good gnaw.

SQUEEK!

Ahhh, that felt good.

OK, first off, take a look over your shoulder at your own Rottie. Have you ever seen such a handsome, beautiful creature in your life? Just the fact that such an amazing creature wants to spend time with you should be enough to bring you a lifetime of thankfulness.

And, how did I know that your Rottie is probably somewhere where you can easily see him? Because any self-respecting Rottweiler wants to keep their person in sight. We want to be your own personal bodyguards and to keep you from harm. And I’ve got news for you. That fella you call the president has to pay his bodyguards, but we offer our services for free because we love you.

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