Home » Partners & Parents » Romantic Relationships » 50/50 is Not Equal

50/50 is Not Equal

© Michele KayD

The 80's and 90's have bestowed the notion upon us that equality is the best policy for ensuring happiness in relationships. Yet, these two decades have brought increased divorce rates along with them. It's time we accept that the true secret of couple merriment is NOT found in the 50/50 proposition. A 60/40 arrangement is a much more worthy concept for modern love.

Consider that infamous half glass of water theory. Supposedly, the way its content is viewed directly associates with a person's overall outlook on life. If someone sees it as half full, he/she is applauded the title of optimist. If, however, that someone considers the glass half empty, he/she is condemned as a pessimist. So, where does that leave the nondecisive among us? Where do those neutral individuals fall on the personality spectrum? The median is neither one extreme nor the other. It's really just a draw--no closer to positive than negative, full or empty. Those types of people are simply stagnant entities, awaiting a change. Something must either be added or taken away in order for them to claim a status.

50/50 relationships, similarly, are actually just as stale. This "ideal model" of old is based on the idea that sharing responsibility ensures mutual respect. Reality check time! When this is put into practice, there is little compromise involved, after all. Neither partner truly gives, but rather awaits the other to take his/her turn. Seldom do both feel appreciated because there isn't sincere effort put forth to do more than his/her "share." Likewise, it's rare to see the other's efforts as comparable to one's own. Both partners, therefore, end up clashing somewhere in that neutral zone. More appropriately, this should be called a "danger zone" or "road block"--one that clearly needs serious revamping.

O.K., if 50/50 relationships are not as truly equal as intended, where does that leave us? Consider the 60/40 model instead. Here, both individuals give more and expect less. Now, there's a much more noble concept to ensure couple happiness. Merging replaces clashing. Instead of a road block, there is now an overlapping intersection of love. Both partners not only can feel appreciated and nurtured, but also can finally learn to truly share. ~~~~~

"The open-hearted and open-minded people are the strong ones...
They have the most power because they give instead of take. They give and gain while the takers lose." ~Susan Trott~

The copyright of the article 50/50 is Not Equal in Romantic Relationships is owned by Michele KayD. Permission to republish 50/50 is Not Equal in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.