Rekindling Old Flames: Long-Lost Lovers Reuniting

Remember that old high school sweetheart you swooned over years ago? Ever find yourself wondering where he or she is today and what their life is like without you? . . . Did he/she marry, divorce, have children, a prestigious career . . .? Ever consider looking him or her up and possibly arranging to reunite?

We've all seen the talk show scenes where a former lover gets those questions answered in front of a live audience. Sometimes, it's a let-down (especially if the searcher is single and hopeful, but the other is now happily mated). Sometimes, however, it can lead to a rekindled romance. Reuniting is often a highly emotional endeavor, more powerful than imaginable. Yet the occurrences, circumstances, associated feelings and outcomes are also more common than most of us would perceive.

Nancy Kalish, a psychology professor at California State University in Sacramento, has done extensive studies on long-lost lovers. These are former lovers who have found one another after years of separation. Within Kalish's study, she collected approximately 1,000 questionnaires and spoke to people from all walks of life who had such experiences. All of those lovers were apart for at least five years, then reunited. The results showed that their stories were amazingly similar. In fact, she calculated roughly 10 out of 100 people have reconnected with previous flames.

Breaking down the specific findings of the Long-Lost Love Project, Kalish determined that (from the first 600 questionnaires):

• About one half of the polled group were teenage sweethearts, 17 or under the first time around. As Dr. Kalish states, "These are the puppy loves that people make fun of . . . . And yet, when they have a choice to go back to someone, of all the relationships in their life, that's the one they go back to."
• The initial breakup resulted, more often than not, as a result of parental disapproval or one of the partners moving.
• When the sample lovers reunited, it was predominately after age 30, but the range spanned anywhere between the ages 18 and 89!
• Over half of the reunited lovers maintained the relationship, often through extramarital affairs.
• Another note is that the sex has resoundingly been reported as great! Kalish says, "It's an appeal to us to right the wrong done from years ago."
• Of those who reconnected after 25 or more years of separation, the rate of staying together rose to 75 per cent. Many have even married and most have commented that they feel a deep, soulmate-like bond with their partner.
  The copyright of the article Rekindling Old Flames: Long-Lost Lovers Reuniting in Romantic Relationships is owned by Michele KayD. Permission to republish Rekindling Old Flames: Long-Lost Lovers Reuniting in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

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