Let's face the harsh facts. The odds of a relationships lasting in today's society are scary. Thus, the norm-of-yore, is no more commonplace. No longer are couples jumping gleefully into the once-comfortable sanctity of marriage and exclusivity. With good reason, men and women alike are more cautious and even scared to make such steps. We are a society that tends to avoid the whole possibility of marriage failure by avoiding taking the so-called plunge altogether.
Sure, with the threats of sexually transmitted diseases, we are increasingly encouraged to find and stick with a single sexual partner. Yet, that alone is not enough to really ensure safety and comfort in a partnership. Unfortunately, not much is definite today, and there isn't much that falls into the realm of forever, either. People simply don't stay together "til death do they part" half as frequently. The result: daters in this millennium are left frightened into commitment shyness.
Being on one either side of the equation can be devastatingly painful. You're either the phobic or the partner involved with one. Understanding where the fear and resistence comes from and why is a starting point to dealing with the problem. There are some coping techniques for those in a commitment phobic bond. However, it often comes down to deciding to bail out before you burn out on waiting. At any rate, here are some general strategies, geared for both angles.
If your lover or love interest is a commitment phobic:
Sometimes, we just don't want to or let ourselves see the truth. If it's too painful to believe that a mate doesn't want to commit to as fully as preferred, it can hurt enormously. Just remember: that phobia it's not a reflection of your shortcomings, and it surely isn't your fault. Everyone is worthy and deserving of love and respect. If you've been avoiding facing reality because it's too painful, you are only adding your own hurt to the situation. Once you come to terms with what is at the root of the situation, it's up to you to decide what's in your personal best interest. But first, some poitners:
