Parental Romance

One of the most common times couples claim to lose touch with romance in their relationship is after they have children. With all the additional stressors, responsibilities, and activities many couples say there just isn't the time or energy to invest in the romance once kids enter the picture. When dating, newly married or childless, there is more opportunity to really court a partner. But somehow, in the day-to-day madness of being a mom or dad, that same courting energy gets pushed aside. This need not be the inevitable case, however. By simply making a conscious effort on both partners side to keep the romance kicking, it's completely possible to maintain or even improve the level of intimacy with your mate.

Even household chores can and should become couple-time, especially when there is simply more of it to do with children in the home. If cleaning and handling chores is the only time you have on a Saturday, for instance, make the most of it. Rather than turning the doldrums into one more reason to be apart, share the duties. This also shows your spouse that you respect him/her and want to help out. Even while taking care of the domestic front, take a few seconds out to joke or tease your partner, pay a compliment, fit in a passing kiss or hug, rub his/her shoulders or discuss plans for later. The point here is just to express your ongoing love, desire, and enjoyment for your mate.

When you're pressed for time, share a shower. Leave each other sexy voice or email messages when you are apart during the day. Have a quiet, connecting ritual before bedtime, when the kids are asleep. Take turns giving back rubs or reading to each other under the covers. Send flowers and buy romantic cards just because. Simply make the point to take a few minutes out each day to express your love and passion for your partner. There is always the chance for those stolen moments that are worth a million.

Just as you plan family events, don't neglect the importance of couple events. An essential inclusion for parental couples is to schedule and always uphold a special "us only" date night. This should occur at least twice a month, ideally once per week. If you don't have family members close by who are willing to take over from time to time, rely on friends, neighbors, or even a temporary sitter/nanny. If you live in a development or close community, set up a parents' link. Exchange phone numbers and either offer to pair up families for free routine nights out, or call others individually to set up per-basis arrangements. Also, interview seniors, stay at home parents, or responsible teenagers in the community (try leaving flyers in high schools, youth centers, churches, day cares, and health centers) . The key is to have several available that you feel comfortable with beforehand. And, if you leave the kids with someone else for the evening, it would be just as much fun to stay home alone!! Make a special romantic dinner, feed each other, make love, make out...just have fun with each other the ways you did before you had children. This will also help you feel less stressed and appreciate the time with your entire family unit.

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