Building It Up

Contrary to what we are often programmed to believe, quality love-making isn't a complex venture, requiring great feats and skills. It isn't reliant on complicated sexual positions or having the perfect mate. While that may surely add to the ease or intensity of passions, the root is simple elements, the basics. Being a great lover is more about building it up than putting it on.

All the sexual potency pills in the world won't help, for instance, if there is not desire to start from. It's more about building up than putting on. Men may be able to enhance their stamina, but where does that aid their female partners? Reality for many women is that the drive just isn't there as much as they'd wish it were. Modern ladies write it off as being too tired, too busy, too hormonal, too anything but where they really are: too disconnected. They are disconnected with their sexuality, their sensuality, their bodies, and their needs.

The important thing is that we can tap and utilize those inner resources without any deep effort. Reality, contrary to the marketing craze, is that no exotic lotions or potions, no batteries or breathing techniques are needed to create heat in the bedroom. Those are advised for fun explorations, indeed, but we need to focus our energies on the basics first. It's too easy to assume (and unfortunately to take for granted) that the basics are in tact. The point is to create the mind-set, the connection, trust, respect, communication, honesty, openness...all mutually - for your partner and from your partner. This is essentially the basis of steamy loving. Concentrate on the basics, the building blocks, the core ...and the sparks of steamy loving will follow in turn and proportion.

Suggestions:

Open the communication wells with your mate and your self. Get talking, sharing, thinking about what you need and desire from your relationship.

Consider what your blocks are. Feeling more maternal than erotic more often than not? Set up a mandatory date night to be alone and be just a lover, not a mother. Do you feel exhausted by day's end and find it impossible to feel "in the mood" at bedtime? How about setting aside relaxing, cozy time with your partner earlier in the evening - even if only for a half hour while you cuddle and watch a TV show. No expectations are intended. Just be together and open for all levels of intimacy. Block out everything else.

The copyright of the article Building It Up in Romantic Relationships is owned by Michele KayD. Permission to republish Building It Up in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

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