Communication Breakdowns & Barriers

You have a date with you sweetie. You shower, dress and get yourself ready for your special evening alone. You say you'll handle the plans. Then, you remember the last date, when he assumed you'd share dinner together, so he didn't eat before arriving at your doorstep. You couldn't wait that late to eat because you were long-since hungry and just decided to eat beforehand. So, one of you ate and the other didn't. You end up feeling guilty for being selfish and taking it for granted that he'd eat by then as well. So you go out and he gets something quick for himself. By that point, you've wasted your precious couple time. Back to this date...you don't want to make the same mistake, so you snack and wait for your honey to arrive before doing dinner. You call a cozy, romantic restaurant for reservations at 8:00 - just to leave plenty of time, and imagine holding hands across the red-checkered cloth table for two, talking over a bottle of your favorite wine, feeding each other samples of your meals, maybe even ordering a decadent dessert to share or take home to indulge in later! Just then, the doorbell rings, pulling you out of fantasyland and you scurry to the door to greet your partner. You sit together on the couch, talk, laugh, kiss, then hear your own stomach reminding you of those plans. He called from the office previously to let you know when he'd be able to meet you, but not then or now was the topic of dinner brought up. Now, you begin to think he just grabbed something on the way - also to avoid a repeat of last time's lack of communication. You don't want him to feel bad for not waiting for you, so you don't say anything. He wouldn't just not think about your needs. The 8:00 hour passes, your honey is getting more and more intimate, the passion levels are rising, and you forget about the dinner plans. The next morning, you happen to check your e-mail and find the message you never read from the day before, before the date. The words "just go ahead and eat dinner and I'll grab something on my way there. I don't you to wait around, starving, for me. I don't know how late I'll be." Youch! See what happens when you don't just communicate completely. Silly little blocks take over and resentments can build, problems that should never be arise (and sometimes turn into arguments). Breakdowns in communication happen to the most considerate, open couples.

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