Stone Alone

by Bill Wyman with Ray Coleman
Viking Press, 1990

Before I begin I want to admit one thing: I have NEVER liked Bill Wyman. I don't know what it is, but something about him has always made my skin crawl. I thought that if I read his biography I might hate him less. This has not happened. After slogging through 539 pages, I loathe the man. Among many other problems, Wyman (whom I now call Whine-man) has committed the cardinal sin of being BORING.

More than five hundred pages and they only cover from the beginning of the band to Brian's death in 1969. Ninety percent of the book could be replaced by adding extra columns to the charts in Appendix 2 as it is a blow by blow description of the bands tour dates. By adding "how much we were paid," "how many got arrested," "how many needed medical care" "how we escaped" and "which band members got attacked" to Appendix 2 you could do away with most of the book.

Diehard Stones (Bill) fans will say, "But it's so interesting to hear it in Bill's words!" I say, only occasionally. Most of the time it is about as interesting as Homer's recitation of the genealogy of every man on every ship in the Trojan war. There's only so much "so and so begat so and so" and such one can take. I'd reached my limit by the end of 1963.

Another five percent that could have been replaced by a chart is Wyman's recitation of every time he had sex. What does this prove? Did he think saying these things would make him a hero in some testosterone contest? Do boys find this stuff interesting? I found the whole thing distasteful, especially comments like "she was a virgin. She was very sweet." I noticed that when talking about encounters with fans, Wyman rarely mentioned their names unless they became regular sex partners. The only exception to this seems to be one woman whom Wyman didn't like and was very rude to. Her first and last name appear in the book although it is clear Wyman didn't have sex with her. Did she say no? Or wasn't she attractive to him? Whatever the case, he felt he could publicly humiliate her years ago and then do it again in his book. All in all I don't think I needed to know that a fan gave

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