Christmas in the Cult

A mock “holiday feast” may occur, but instead of egg nog and ham, the meal is gruesome.

These are just a few of the associations that occur in the dissociated alters of the child raised in a cult family, and why many survivors feel a mixture of anticipation and fear when the holidays come around. Added to this, once the child grows up, intense efforts by cult family members to recontact will occur during these holiday times at which all family members are expected to be present.

Panic and anxiety can occur for the adult survivor on these anniversary dates of intense trauma and rituals, and they may wonder why a holiday that is associated with good cheer for them means the desire to hide and cower.

It can help if the survivor learns for themselves where the panic is coming from, and which triggers were placed in. This usually will occur in therapy, or from journaling.

If a survivor has stopped contact with family members, then receives a flood of Christmas cards or gifts, they should be cautious, and aware that these items could be intensely triggering. A desire to “call and recontact” family members will often be awakened as a result, and the survivor will need to work through this in therapy.

Child alters often hold the most horrific memories, and listening to them, allowing them to process their trauma and fears in therapy, journaling, and art work can also help.

Creating new holiday traditions that feel safe can also help. Some survivors celebrate Christmas by doing things very differently than their family of origin to help reinforce that they are able to break free of all the traditions that their family held. And having outside support and safety help most of all during this time.

Christmas is an especially difficult time for many survivors. But as adults, survivors can choose to break free from the traumatic meanings it once held, and to create a safe Christmas for themselves.

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