A Day in the Life of a Trainer - Page 5


© Svali
Page 5

1:45 am We start going to our assigned tasks. I have brought the log books with me, the “item” that I was asked to remember. I keep them hidden in a closet at home, locked in a steel box. These books contain data about different “subjects” that we have been working on.

I go to the head trainer’s room inside a nearby building. I work with him, since I am the second trainer under him. He and I despise each other, and I suspect he would love to undermine me since I have made many cruel jokes at his expense. I am supposed to be afraid of him, and I am, but I also cannot respect him, and he knows it. I point out his mistakes to him, in front of others, and he often tries to get back at me.

1:50 am The room inside the warehouse-like building is set up to work on the subjects. It has a table, a light, and equipment. The room is apart from the activities going on outside, so that others will not be distracted by what we do here.

The subject is there, ready to be worked on. Another, younger trainer is there to help, and I tell her to administer the medication. We are working on medications to help induce hypnotic states, and are studying the effects of these medications, combined with hypnosis and trauma. The medication is injected subcutaneously, and then we wait. Within ten minutes, the subject is drowsy and his breathing is slower and heavier, but his eyes are open which is what we want. (I will not describe the rest of the session here, it is too painful for me to describe at this time. I believe that human experimentation is cruel and should be stopped, but the group that I was in did it on a continuous basis). We record information in the logbook throughout the session, and I have a laptop computer into which I am putting the information as well. We are profiling not just the medication, but also this person’s individual response. We have profiles that are very complete and thorough on this person, started when he was an infant. I can pull up a special profile that tells me everything about him: his favorite colors, foods, sexual preferences, soothing techniques, and a list of all the codes that will elicit a response from him. There is also a diagram of his internal world that has been created over the years.

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Here's the follow-up discussion on this article: View all related messages

7.   Apr 23, 2005 6:02 AM
The account you have given us here must have taken huge courage to write. Ty for being so frank with us and sharing as you have done.
It will be words like yours to help break free the silence and un ...

-- posted by sgreen40


6.   Apr 11, 2004 7:59 PM
In response to message posted by freeic:

Wow!!! What a praise to the Lord! We rejoice with you in your discovery... that only His ...


-- posted by modelbill


5.   Apr 3, 2004 9:03 AM
In response to message posted by TiaNaranja:

I had 12 years of counseling that did not help. They stirred me up more and made it wor ...

-- posted by freeic


4.   Oct 20, 2002 1:05 PM
Getting to where your alters can communicate with each other (and with you--remember, "you" are just another alter) is very useful and is the first step in recovery.

Some things that have worked fo ...


-- posted by prgh


3.   Jun 13, 2002 2:48 PM
WOW, I could relate to your story. My history is SRA in what seems to be a well organized group. The way I first found out I had MPD was when a cashier at a grocery store recognized me from a biker ...

-- posted by TiaNaranja





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