Retraumatization
client in the deepest phase of transference is decimating and simply relives in them all the horrror, disbelief and terror of someone they either love to desperation, fear to the point of paralysis, or both. If the therapist cannot handle, recognize or appropriately care for their client in this stage, the damage caused is irrepairable.
Reenactment doesn't need to be a physical repeating of a past trauma, a broken heart is far more traumatizing and difficult to heal than a broken limb. In the delicate and sensitive condition of a patient in the throes of emotional transference it behoves the therapist to treat their client as they would a container of Dresden china, " FRAGILE. Handle with CARE". If we do not do this, we are guilty of retraumatization.
4. LISTENING
In an article I wrote about Listening, (see www.surviving.org.uk), I posited that perhaps the greatest gift we could give our client, friend or stranger is the ability to truly LISTEN and to enable them to feel without a shadow of a doubt that he/she has been HEARD.
It is my belief that the worst thing that can be done to someone is to ignore them. Ignoring is an umbrella for rejection, silencing, making another feel invisible, less than nothing, unimportant, unrecognized, unloved, unheard and unwanted. Ignoring is TOTAL dismissal and recognition of a person's presence and being.
If we, as therapists are not fully present and focussed on our client in their session time, if we are preoccupied, wandering off on some thought and agenda of our own ( even if it concerns our client) we are, in reality, ignoring them. We are ignoring what they are telling us because we hear only part of what is being said, and sometimes none at all, our attention is somewhere else and often our eyes are likewise. Our clients are not stupid and they sense how present we are with them, how much we are paying attention, and it is easy to convey the feeling that in one sense they are being ignored. Our response to their questions, our comments on their affect and the content of what they are relating, our body language, and expressions all tell a tale. It is my firm belief that the worst kind of retraumatization I can commit upon my patient is to in any way ignore them by not listening with 100% of my mind, heart
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