Maintaining External Safety

Jul 14, 2001 - © Olyssa

Once I pull away from the non-cult friend, the addicted alters are “rewarded” with an actual drug session. The cult has successfully isolated me and has complete control over the system once again.

Getting free from the cult means having the compassion, patience and acceptance to help the addicted alters work through the debilitating pain and anxiety that will surface for them when it is not being masked by the fix. The only way for them to recover is to help the reporting alters not give in to their anxiety and report. The addicted alters NEED to scare the reporting ones and will exploit the PTSD in the reporting ones if that’s what it takes to convince them they must get to a phone and make a contact.

I was deep into my recovery before I discovered I had hidden addicted alters. Learning how they have been trained and traumatized and how they manipulate the system has been critical to recovery. As the system caretaker now that I know what is going on, it is important for me to presence the addicted ones and reassure them and welcome them.

Part of having DID means we often tend to divide amongst ourselves, alters blaming other alters or distrusting each other. The way we can ultimately separate from the cult is to build a life that includes all alters and respects their histories and their fears and weaknesses as well as their courage and strengths. When I first found out that these hidden addicted alters had been manipulating and terrorizing the anxious reporting alters I was inclined to be angry at them. But I understand that they did this because their own terror was so great. They did not know me, the caretaker. They did not know love. They did not know how they would survive without the fix. By spending time each day reassuring them that I am unconditionally here for them and that I will never reject and that I will keep them safe from the cult and help them through their addiction they are slowly beginning to trust me and let me help them.

In order for the programmed/cult loyal alters to be willing to take a leap of faith outside of the dark world they have been raised in, there must be a part of you who can catch them, however imperfectly and accept them for what they, in their helplessness and fear,

The copyright of the article Maintaining External Safety in Ritual Abuse is owned by Olyssa. Permission to republish Maintaining External Safety in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

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