Overcoming Denial
that her job was no longer needed, and that those who used to punish her (and me) no longer needed to act out.
Overcoming denial may mean overcoming a lifetime of training to deny, and the intense fear of punishment if the person doesn’t. Safety, no contact with cult members, and reasoning with these parts can all help the need to deny decrease.
Finally, denial may come from society. The survivor has it ground in from infancy by the cult that “No one will ever believe you, they will think you are crazy if you ever talk, and lock you up.” Our society today often looks the other way, or looks askance at the survivor. Groups such as the FMS were created to blitz the media with unfounded statements about memory retrieval, and to invalidate survivors who have the courage to speak out and say, “This is real, and it happens.” How many news stories are out there that make ritual abuse look as if it is a “modern hysteria” or attempt to denigrate therapists willing to work with and help survivors? I know that when I was in San Diego, leadership council was well aware of the power of the media, and the council had a saying, “Don’t attack your enemy, discredit him (in the media).” They found it much more effective, and reporters such as M. Sauer do an excellent job for them. I hope that he, and others that I knew in the group, will learn that they can get out.
The survivor who is able to overcome the denial of family, internal denial, and programmed denial, will still be met by blank looks, or worse, those who turn their backs on them, and say, “I don’t want to hear about this, “ or “I can’t hear about this.” Pastors will say this, social workers, CPS workers, and those whose comfort zone is crossed with the thought that ritual abuse really occurs. Those who tell the survivor, “I believe you”, at times may seem far and few between, and I applaud their willingness to look at realities which often make us feel uncomfortable. No one WANTS to think that human beings can do this to one another, or that such horrific abuse is possible.
I am here to say loud and clear that ritual abuse occurs. It is real. It is not made up. The people who disclose their abuse
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