Sharing this is not meant to frighten survivors, but to underline the need to exercise caution when looking for safe housing. Just because a person welcomes others into their home does not guarantee that they are safe.
This means that a survivor must be cautious when entering a new living situation. Some guidelines for looking for a true safe living situation might include the following:
*Is this place recommended by someone that I trust, and that I KNOW is safe, who doesn't have a hidden agenda?
*Is the place clean and habitable, within reason?
*Why does the family want to work with survivors? How did they become interested? What are the dynamics in the home? Do the spouses have a healthy, good relationship?
*What are the expectations of the survivor? Helping with household chores is fine, and so it keeping ones room and living areas clean. Daily hours of backbreaking "free labor", or an unpaid childcare service for 40+ hours a week without pay is not, especially if the survivor is still fragile.
*Does the survivor have access to competent, professional therapy? This will also be important in the healing process, and to help stay cult free.
* What is the practicing belief system of the "safe family"? I have heard of accounts of survivors being led into a new, nonsatanic cult group with abusive practices in a supposed safe house.
How isolated is the living situation? Will the survivor have access to transportation at times, to get groceries or to therapy? How will this need be worked out?
How will the family handle attempts by the cult to access the survivor? Safety issues? How will they also help the survivor prevent their own recontacting the cult? These issues should be discussed openly and honestly, and plans for dealing with these situations made. Often, survivors will leave a true safe home for fear of endangering family members, since the cult will often threaten the family the survivor lives with. But normally, the cult will not kill outside people, they tend to threaten but not follow through, because they do not want police investigations.
Is there outside accountability in the home to others, as well, such as a therapist or the pastor? Is the family willing to interact with the therapist, and learn about DID and ritual abuse? Or is their attitude a closed, "we know everything we need to know" attitude?
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