Finding A Safe House
One of the greatest problems that confronts a survivor of cult abuse trying to escape is "Where do I go now?" Often, the person has been surrounded their entire lifetime by both their family of origin, who are members in transgenerational cult groups, and even their closest friends are frequently members. The person may need to make the difficult decision to flee the city they live in (or the rural area, since these groups also operate in the country) and move to a new area.
Alone, friendless, cut off from family, and frequently without funds, this person must try to make a new life, at a time when they are very vulnerable.
The lack of Safe Houses for a person trying to leave the cult has been an ongoing concern of therapists and pastors who work with survivors. There are several reasons for this relative lack, that include:
1) The time commitment needed: it is a true commitment of time and resources to decide to open one's home up to survivors, one unfortunately that many people simply are not willing to make.
2) Lack of understanding or training for lay helpers about DID and ritual abuse: many churches do not understand ritual abuse, and few lay people understand it without training. There are many misconceptions about DID and ritual abuse, ones that can be easily corrected with seminars. Dr. Jim Friesen and his associates at Shepherd's House in the Los Angeles area have created a model for the church community in reaching out to and helping survivors, one that I would recommend that all lay people and pastoral staff interested in working with ritual abuse survivors read.
3) Cult plants: it has been reported that frequently the cult will have members pose as caring, "Christian" supporters, who will offer their homes or even create "shelters" for ritual abuse survivors, but who then reaccess the survivor. This creates a fear for the survivor in knowing where to turn, or where a true safe house might exist. Unfortunately, there are those who prey on the vulnerable, and the survivor must use caution when agreeing to live somewhere.
4) Unhealthy homes: there are also frequent reports of noncult, but abusive situations that survivors find themselves in when they go to live with a supposedly "safe family". I have heard survivors report being locked in closets, enduring verbal abuse, physical abuse, and even sexual abuse in situations when they were placed in "safe houses". Others have told me of enduring living in homes filled with garbage and feces, which is another form of abuse.
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