Should I Confront My Abuser(s)?
to reaccess the survivor. Meaning to confront the perpetrator, the person may instead be drawn back to the abuse that they are trying to resolve. In some cases, confrontation may be unsafe for the survivor of ritual abuse, and they need to choose to not confront, or only confront if there are safe people with them. Over three years ago, I called my mother. At the time, even though I had memories coming through of her abuse, they were vague. But then she gave a core command to my systems (she was my trainer the first three years of my life, and was one of three people who could go anywhere inside). The command was to "Come back or die". I chose to suicide, rather than go back to the cult , and ended up in an Emergency room fighting for my life after taking an overdose. At that point, I stopped all contact with her, and the suicidality was broken. And I began to truly heal and integrate.
It is important if a person does decide to confront a perpetrator that they maintain safety first. NEVER go alone to confront a known perpetrator. This could be a set-up for trouble or being reacccessed. Always have one or two safe, non-DID people with you. Be aware that the confrontation will probably result in denial. This is the universal reaction of most people still involved in the cult, who are amnesic. Most generational cult families are dissociative, to say the least, and they will NOT remember their abusing others, even when directly confronted with their abuse. Perpetration of others is often the LAST thing remembered psychologically when healing from suppressed trauma, according to several therapists I have talked to. Perpetration is a very psychologically painful issue to face, and the person confronted with their perpetration will deny, or dissociate from it.
When I lived in San Diego, I was investigated by a local authority for an allegation of being part of a cult group. I was still completely amnesic to my involvement. I invited the person doing the investigation into my home, offered them coffee, saw the evidence, and shook my head sadly over the "poor, ill woman" who was making the allegations. I stated unequivocally to the investigator that I was NOT part of any cult group, or involved in any cult activities. I even offered to have them come and stay with me
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