One of the most important but also one of the most difficult steps that a survivor of generational cult abuse can make is the decision to leave the group that they were raised in.
Those who are naive, or don't understand the nature of being raised in a group may wonder, "Why would it be hard to leave abusers? Wouldn't a person WANT to get away?" The reality is a little more complicated, and my hope is that this article will help both survivors, therapists, and support people as well as those who wish to understand ritual abuse have a better idea of the issues that survivors getting out face, as well as some helpful ideas on safety.
BARRIERS TO GETTING OUT:
I want to address these first. This is not to be discouraging, but to help identify the issues involved. If a person understands the obstacles to leaving, they can then begin developing a plan to overcome these problems.
Paramount is PERSONAL SAFETY. Threats against those who try to leave are real, and the person has been conditioned by witnessing the punishment of those who have tried to leave (see my article on how the cult programs people for more info); or even punishment for questioning the group or its leader. The psychological intimidation of a lifetime is real, and the person must be assured of physical safety before they will consider leaving a group that could literally brutally punish them (or worse) for attempting to leave.
It is very, very difficult to consider leaving, or worse yet, to discuss leaving in therapy, then have reporter alters "telling on" the person to the group leaders. This happened to me in San Diego, and the results were devastating. My inside parts who wanted to get out, who were working hard in therapy, were being physically brutalized at night to punish them for talking and remembering. This created a great deal of what therapists call "intrasystem conflict" , to put it mildly. Some parts became hostile at other parts who wanted to leave, and they began punishing them as well. In addition, suicide commands were put in by the head trainer.
The reality is that if a person truly wants to break free, they may become "expendable" in the eyes of the cult, or considered a security risk, and will often be told to suicide. In breaking free, a survivor and their support system needs to be aware of these realities. To not be aware that this is/could be happening will cause therapy to be sabotaged.
